Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
