I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
I want her autograph on my taint
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
