I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
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