Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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