Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
