Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
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