I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize