Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
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