If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
she peed on how many people?
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Randomize
