His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
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