Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
