sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
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