I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
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