the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Randomize
