u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
