yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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