drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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