Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Randomize
