I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize