Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
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