If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Is Oprah even human
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
