belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Randomize
