We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
