Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
