There was a lot of him and a little penis
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Randomize
