We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Randomize
