I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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