Three words: puerto rican gang bang
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I will pee on everything he values.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
