i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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