sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
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