I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
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