I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
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Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
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They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
I have fence marks all over my body
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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