at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
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