Don't you send me to vm
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
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