If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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