U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
