I want to stick my p in your. b.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Randomize
