You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Sext me about skeletons
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
