you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
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