? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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