my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
home. puking in laundry basket.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
