All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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