Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Randomize
