I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
