One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Randomize
