Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
