dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
