walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
