she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
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