so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
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