be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I made him laugh his dick is mine
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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