why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
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