chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
