WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
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