you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
