There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I have feelings that need drinking.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Randomize
