omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Randomize
