Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
