i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
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She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
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Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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