You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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