He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
