I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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