You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
