So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
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