We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize