Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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