just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Randomize
