And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Randomize
